CWD WedBlog

Registering for wedding gifts has become somewhat the "norm" and most wedding guests expect that the bride and grooms are registered at, at least, one store. Most large chain department stores and many smaller brick-and-mortar and online stores offer gift registry as a standard service. But even with this familiarity with the gift registry process, there are still some very important rules of etiquette that should be followed. In general, here are the basics....

• Guests of your wedding and/or your wedding shower are never expected to purchase a gift for you. The gesture of giving you a gift should be warmly received by you, but it is the honor of their presence at your celebration that you are requesting with your invitation, not a gift. It is always in poor taste to expect a gift from a guest and/or to discuss what and how much was given you by any particular guest.


• It is perfectly acceptible to include gift registry information inside your wedding shower invitations, however, registry information should never be included in your wedding invitations. If you won't have a wedding shower, you might want to consider, instead, creating a wedding website that includes links to your wedding registry (if purchases may be made online) or information about where you are registered. Let your guests know about your wedding website and they will find your registry information there. Those that aren't computer savvy will learn of your registry by word-of-mouth if they choose to purchase a gift for you from a registry.


• It is inappropriate and in poor taste to mention to your guests that you prefer cash gifts. Some weddings guests will always give a cash gift and some will never give cash and will opt to purchase a gift for you. Both should be received with equal warmth and gratitude.


• Just as it is inappropriate to request cash gifts, it equally inappropriate to tell your guests that you do not want a gift. Your guests are your family and friends...people who love you...and they want to give you a gift. If you honestly do not want wedding gifts, you might consider some alternative registry options, such as "charity registry" where your guests can make a donation to a charity that is close to your heart, or a "honeymoon registry" where your guests can make a donation toward your honeymoon or various outings available at your honeymoon destination, or the "romantic getaways registry" where guests can make gifts toward various romantic outings that you and your spouse would like to have, for example, a horse-drawn carriage ride or dinner cruise.


• When creating your gift registries, be sure to include a multitude of items in the lower price ranges, say $10 - $25 items. Registering for only higher cost items is equavilent to telling your guests that you expect them to spend a good deal of money on you. Most guests will already have a price range in mind and will spend accordingly, whether it's on one higher priced item or several lower cost items bundled together in one nice little package.


• If your wedding is cancelled or postponed, you should cancel or update this information on your wedding registries immediately. If your wedding invitations have already been sent, you must also notify your guests of your changed plans immediately, first notifying those who live far away and were requred to make travel arrangements to attend. Etiquette demands that all such notifications be made personally, usually with a brief note of explanation. Also worth mentioning here, if your wedding is rescheduled, you will need to start over with your wedding invitations; merely sending a note with the new date information will never pass etiquette.

Regardless your registry choices, keep in mind that it is your guests' presence at your celebration that you are requesting with your wedding invitation, not a gift. In an odd little twist, wedding etiquette already demands of the invitee, whether they are able to attend or not, that a gift be given; however, it also demands of the wedding couple that no gift be expected. And despite common practices, there is no hard and fast rule for determining the amount of money that should be spent on your wedding gift. Some guests will give more, some will give less, all will love you regardless what they give and will be happy and honored to share your joy with you.