An Introduction to
Wedding Invitation Etiquette |
by Megan Bacalao Virkler, Crane & Co. |
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As our society evolves,
so does our etiquette. Many rules of etiquette were made (and
continue to be made) to deal with difficult and changing social
situations. Various aspects of etiquette have changed over the
years--things deemed acceptable now would have horrified the previous
generations, and likely, many of today's rules may appear archaic
and obsolete to a future generation. |
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At its core, etiquette
is based on common sense and courtesy. Your guests need certain
information to get them to your wedding--the names of the hosts,
what the event is, and the date, time, and place. You want, of
course, to convey this information to them as graciously as possible.
A courteous invitation makes all your guests feel wanted and never
hurts anybody's feelings. |
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At Crane & Co.,
Paper Makers we receive many questions from brides concerning
proper wording for their wedding invitation and other related
items. This article has been written in an attempt to answer some
of those questions for you. |
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Some Points to Remember |
1. |
Your wedding invitations will
set the tone for your wedding and will create your guests' first
impressions. When selecting the invitations, keep in mind what
kind of wedding you are having as your invitations and wedding
should complement each other. |
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2. |
Wedding invitations should be
ordered at least three months in advance. This should leave you
enough time for engraving, addressing, and mailing |
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3. |
Your wedding invitations
should be mailed four to six weeks before the wedding. |
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Some Frequently Asked Questions |
1. |
Should
we send engagement announcements? |
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Sending an engagement announcement
is the best way to ensure that all your friends and family hear
about your engagement--it certainly saves you making a lot of
phone calls. Don't worry, an announcement is not a request for
a gift and no one who receives an announcement should feel obligated
to send you one. |
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2. |
When
should we send rehearsal dinner invitations? |
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The invitations to the dinner
following a wedding rehearsal should be sent out by the groom's
family two weeks before the wedding. The guest list traditionally
includes just the wedding party, but this has changed somewhat
in recent years to also accommodate the out-of-town guests. |
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3. |
Should
we send save-the-date cards? |
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Save-the-date cards are invaluable
when you are inviting a lot of out-of-town guests, your wedding
is over a holiday weekend, or is in a vacation area. They are
sent out at least three months before your wedding and allow your
guests to make their plans ahead of time. Only your out-of-town
guests need to receive them, but it's a nice gesture to send them
to your in-town guests, too, lest they think that they are not
invited. |
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4. |
What
kind of paper should we use? |
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Crane's papers are made from 100%
cotton. This has numerous benefits, including that it is environmentally
friendly and long lasting. Your wedding invitation will look as
beautiful on your Golden Wedding Anniversary as it did on the
day you sent it. The color of the paper is a matter of personal
preference. Formal wedding invitations can be engraved on either
white or ecru, the latter being the color of choice in the Americas,
while white is preferred in Europe. The paper can either be folded
in half with the fold on the left-hand side, or a flat card and
can be either plain or paneled. The choice between the two can
depend on the typestyle--scripts look better on a plain sheet,
while block styles look good on paneled papers. |
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5. |
What
color ink should we use? |
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Black or dark gray are the two
most common colors used, and are the most appropriate for formal
invitations. Other colors may be used for less formal weddings. |
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6. |
Who's
names should be on the invitation? |
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The hosts of the wedding issue
the invitations; traditionally, this would be the parents of the
bride. However, it is becoming more common for the bride and groom
to appear as the hosts, particularly if they are paying for the
wedding alone. Usually, only the bride's parents' names appear,
but in Jewish tradition, the groom's parents also appear on the
invitation, under the groom's name. Stepparents can be a tricky
situation, and appear depending on the personal choice of the
couple and their family. Courtesy is a big factor. Deceased family
members' names should not appear on the invitation, as they are
not hosts of the wedding. They can be honored in many other ways
in the wedding. The consultants at the Crane & Co., Paper
Makers stores will be able to guide you in this process. |
